I was pleasantly surprised when the mailman delivered a package from Abby. She is on tour in Hong Kong and sent a new pair of yoga pants. If you practice yoga, you know yoga is sanskrit for "ridiculously overpriced clothes". This made Yangblog very happy to get free yoga pants and I tried them on immediately. They were manly and well cut but there was one problem:
You could see my "stuff".
Seriously.
In yoga you are always stretching your legs in EMBARRASSING directions and the last thing you want to see is anybody's "stuff" during class. Nobody and I mean NOBODY wants to see Yangblog's stuff in motion. If anything, teachers ask me to keep my stuff in check.
What is even more disappointing is you can see stuff going on down there when I am not doing anything. From behind you can see 'cleavage'. Yangblog is 48 years old with a giant ochre colored head. Clearly this is a disaster.
To make matters worse, I was talking to Abby on Skype about the pants. She wanted to see the problem so I stood up and POINTED TO MY STUFF in front of the laptop. I forgot I was in front of a giant window so horrified neighbors saw me POINT TO MY STUFF in front of my laptop. Neighbors now refuse to look me in the eyes.
If you will excuse me I need to talk to the authorities.
They want to quarantine my window.
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