Control Yourself, I'm Happily Married

I am sure you heard the stunning news this week that changes the world as we know it and I am SCARED. Not the Middle East or anything related to cloning, but this. The Washington Post declares that the hottest fashion accessory for Asian woman today is a KOREAN MAN. Women are going nuts and flocking to Korean dating services. The sight of a Korean male sends women into a hysterical frenzy!

I immediately told my wife this disturbing news. She is going away for performances and I thought she might need to rethink leaving me alone. If this story is accurate, I am going to be inundated with frantic women! They will be massed outside my door at all times! Factor in my CLUELESSNESS about women and you have a recipe for disaster. I could end up married to multiple people without my knowledge! Shouldn't Abby stay and tell these swarms of women to back off?

Abby read the article and told me I have nothing to worry about. She said the women were looking for Korean men with the following qualities:

1) Good Looks
2) Six-Pack Abs
3) Charm
4) Hair

Abby thought I should be okay while she is on tour. I'm not so sure. Since I am a devoted husband, I will be playing it safe and staying where I rarely see women until she comes back.

If I am not at the studio, you can reach me at the golf course.