It is a sobering thought, but I don’t think I’m Korean! When I travel with my wife to Asia, people are shocked, SHOCKED to find out I am Korean. People think I'm Chinese or Japanese. Sometimes I'm confused with someone people actually know in China or Japan. People rarely guess I'm Korean. Here are other pieces of evidence:
Koreans: Excel at golf and have a mental toughness and perseverance for the game.
Me: I suck at golf, but I am mentally tough and I persevere.
Mitigating Factor: For me, mentally tough means I don't cry until I leave the course.
Koreans: Love revenge. Korean movies with elaborate revenge plots are huge.
Me: I love revenge too.
Mitigating Factor: I keep forgetting who's on my revenge list.
Koreans: Love Korean food.
Me: I love Korean food!
Mitigating Factor: But so does everybody else so this proves nothing. A Korean pointed this out to Abby.
Koreans: Speak Korean.
Me: Here is a partial list of people I have personally met who speak more Korean than me- Chinese, Japanese, English, Lebanese, Egyptian, American, Italian, Australian, Thai. Remember this is a partial list.
Mitigating Factor: Korean is really hard to learn.
Mitigating Mitigating Factor: Any second language is really hard for me to learn.
Koreans: Make LCD televisions.
Me: I love my LCD television!
Mitigating factor: It's a Sony, not a Samsung.
Koreans: Korean women like Korean men
Me: Korean women NEVER liked me. My wife is Chinese.
Mitigating factor: Mom never explained to me that Korean women initially feign disinterest to see if you are really interested. A female Korean friend revealed this secret.
Mitigating Mitigating factor: Trust me. They were disinterested.
Koreans: Look Korean
Me: I don't look like anybody in my nuclear or extended family. There is one uncle my mom insists looks like me.
Mitigating factor: When I ask about the uncle, Mom can't remember his name.
There you have it. My current working theory is my parents accidentally picked up the wrong baby at the hospital. If you are a Chinese or Japanese male who was born in Oklahoma in the 60's, but don't look Chinese or Japanese, let me know. We just won't tell our parents.
2 comments:
I think the answer lies in the identity of this mysterious, nameless "uncle" from your mom's past. Maybe some half Chinese, half Japanese drifter who passed through Oklahoma a little over forty years ago? I'm just saying.
Wow that's a great theory! I'm going to pass this along to my mom. Can I also leave her your phone number and address? Why should my sister and I be the only ones scared of my mom?
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